Both new and experienced subs at some point ask themselves: should I meet with an Independent Dominatrix or one that works at a Dungeon? There are pros and cons to both. Making that decision depends on your situation, interests, security concerns, and of course personal preference. Both are viable: both have people who are experienced, ethical, and beautiful. And both have people who will mishandle your information and treat you badly.
1. Experience: As a general rule Dommes working at Dungeons tend to be less experienced (except for the owner/manager). Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a negative. The best Mistresses I know started working at a Dungeon. This is where they learn from more experienced Dommes, where they learn safety, rules, and expand their horizons. There are exceptions, but let’s talk about natural progression: Dommes often graduate from working for someone and either go Independent or start their own Dungeons.
Just because Independent Dommes tend to be more experienced doesn’t mean there isn’t a whole class of them that have zero to minimal experience. And these are the Escorts that simply added an angle of BDSM to their repertoire. We are not here to judge, actually I know some Dommes that started as escorts or dancers and made a spectacular transition, my point is simply for the reader to be mindful of these differences.
2. Equipment: professional Dungeons tend to have more toys, furniture and equipment. Independents don’t have the scale and sheer volume of clients to support the space and toys. Many Independent Mistresses have access to large Dungeons, you just have to ask.
3. Tribute: An Independent Dominatrix is a business owner and has to handle everything that comes with it: advertising, screening, website maintenance, scheduling. Dungeon Dommes have the luxury of just showing up and leaving at the end of the shift. The pay reflects the responsibilities. Dungeons usually split tributes 50/50. It’s a fair trade for taking away the headaches and supplying space, equipment, and customers.
4. Nudity/Sexual Acts: Dungeons advertise heavily therefore their locations and nature of business is known not only to clients but law enforcement. They have to be more careful or they get busted. Very often commercial Dungeons have a policy of absolutely no sexual acts, going as far as ‘panties stay on’. Granted I’m writing this from a point of an Independent professional Dominatrix in Orange County. Knowing the legal landscape in Southern California, my policy is for zero sexual context but I know that most Independents are more lax with their rules. Overall a sub will get to sexual activities faster with an Independent than with a Dungeon Domme.
Now I want you to think about the following: sexual acts in exchange for compensation are illegal, this includes any kind of penetration. Legal ramifications for being caught are enormous financially, judicially and personally. If you contact a Dominatrix asking for a sexual act and she agrees, you think great for me: you cum during a session and move on with your life. Except the record of you asking and her agreeing remains, even if you don’t get caught chances are she eventually will. So by finding a Dominatrix that agreed to your sexual request, you just subjected yourself to a tremendous liability.
5. Personal Information. Let’s follow the liability string. Now that I got you thinking let’s look at how your personal information is handled. Both groups need to screen but how do both groups handle your personal info? Who is more likely to get into big trouble: an agency booking many appointments for many Dommes, or an Independent Dominatrix who is only booking for herself? Which is more likely to draw unwanted attention? If an Independent Mistress gets into trouble, well that’s a pain in the ass but it’s a small problem for her and pretty much no problem for you, plus it rarely makes headlines. If a Dungeon gets into trouble it can be and has been national news! People who have been patrons of such places have seen their names official documents and in national and local newspapers. It’s splashy, sexy news and will always get ratings.
Yes, I’m a Dominatrix and I love scaring subs shitless, but I also want you to decide for yourself what you might want to see and take everything into account about how each operation works. Nothing is fool proof, but when you consider each business model on its merit you can make an informed decision about what is best.